Thread:Silent Psycho Gamer/@comment-5275759-20140526101504/@comment-265822-20140607215607

Here's what you had before in your draft: As Touma asked how she was planning to slow them down without a parachute, Kanzaki shook him, wishing to punch him right there. She decided to use her wires to slow their descent, however before she could, Touma drew her attention to the giant blade of light emerging from the Hotel Arial. She realized that Carissa was planning to wipe them out along with Othinus. In response to Touma (what do you call this behavior?), Kanzaki punched him before telling him to hold on. After hitting Touma twice for nearly touching her chest and bottom, causing him to start sobbing, Kanzaki wrapped his arms around her waist, and told him of her plan to form a three-dimensional magic circle with her wires, in order to divert the power being relayed to the Curtana and destroy Hotel Arial.

This is my recommendation on the paragraph:

As they continued to plummet towards the ground Touma asked how she was planning to slow them down without a parachute, Kanzaki shook him in response, and commented that she wanted to punch him right there for asking that. She decided to use her wires to slow their descent, however before she could, Touma drew her attention to the giant blade of light emerging from the Hotel Arial. Both realized that the light must be Carissa's doing, Kazaki then explained that she must be planning to wipe them out along with Othinus. In response to Touma frantic panicking about their current situation, Kanzaki punched him before telling him to hold on. After hitting Touma twice for nearly touching her chest and bottom, causing him to start sobbing, Kanzaki wrapped his arms around her waist, and told him of her plan to form a three-dimensional magic circle with her wires, in order to divert the power being relayed to the Curtana and destroy Hotel Arial.